I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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