Well apparently he's into motor boating.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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