in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
