Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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