She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize