I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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