We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
