So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize