That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
