I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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