Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
