Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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