Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
