I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
