wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
