I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
