She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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