I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
