I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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