belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
