Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
