OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
