i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
