sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
