I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
