8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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