Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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