did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
