hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Actions speak louder than pants.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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