Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
