playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
