You can't motorboat a personality
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
