hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
