i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
