Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can you bring me the toilet please
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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