brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
