Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize