I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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