Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
