brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
