she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
love makes seman taste better
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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