I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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