Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The ass gains better be worth it
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