I'm lost and stupid without you.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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