What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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