This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
