Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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