Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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