elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I see more hoeing in ur future
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