I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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