I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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