Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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