I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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