real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
