Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
