So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
