I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So many bounce houses so little time
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
