Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize